I Kissed a Girl and I Wasn't Thrilled

I Kissed a Girl and I Wasn't Thrilled

The Summer of 2008 will probably go down as two things; the Summer of Jailbait, with the ever-growing fame and egos of such teen sensations of the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus, and the Summer of Agitated Girl Power. The season started off with a song by Leona Lewis about how she would pull out & cut open her heart and show her boyfriend her ‘bleeding love’, amongst other things. Next comes along a pretty Zooey Deschanal look-alike, Katy Perry, who seems innocent upon first glance. Her attire of modern fifties’ housewife dresses looks angelic enough with her polished good looks and brilliantly applied lipstick, but her ‘pureness’ stops with her physicality. When her pretty little mouth opens to sing, the ugliness of her lyrics pour out.

The origins of this seemingly young soul make her a quirky character, and might explain why America is falling into a strange puppy love with her. Growing up with two preacher parents, she started off as a Christian artist. This was a short-term career, since she discovered the greatness of Freddie Mercury and decided that she aspired to be like him. Apparently the management over at Capitol Records saw some spunk in her. Capitol honchos felt that Perry would give the charts a new flair, should she ever chart, so she was signed shortly after their newfound discovery. Despite being on a major label, Perry took independent routes to get her music to the public. She released a low-key first single, entitled ‘Ur So Gay’, on the networking site MySpace. From there, celebrity blogger Perez Hilton and pop culture icon Madonna praise her and how she’s going to change the music scene. And then, “I Kissed a Girl” comes out…

Katy Perry explodes as America’s Next Temporary ‘It’ Girl, and it leads to a vast amount of wrong ideals coming from one girl. For example, let’s begin with Perry’s smash single. There is absolutely nothing wrong with kissing girls if you’re a girl, but is it really right to advocate the Slutty Bisexual stereotype? It’s okay to experiment, but when not when one has a boyfriend and he’s not supposed to mind it. That is just being a player, and that is never sexy. If he was a good boyfriend, he would keep that girl satisfied without being tempted by cherry chapstick. At least Jill Sobule had heart when she sang of the same thing over a decade ago. ‘Ur So Gay’ is not much better, and it all begins with the title. Number one: proper grammar is underrated and should be used more often. Number two: ‘gay’ was never an adjective in Webster’s Dictionary, so why can it be used as an adjective now? Use some different terminology! Now that that’s off my chest, let’s get to the immediate conclusion that the lyrics read like a middle schooler’s diary that is trying too hard to be clever. Perry’s song about a pretentious hipster ex-boyfriend is respectably bitter, but it makes her sound oh-so high-and-mighty by the first chorus. H&M scarves are not for hanging, and Mozart is not for jacking off purposes. Abusing those gifts to the world already puts Katy Perry in a bad position. If she wants a real man in her life, stick with dating Travis McCoy. I must mention one final note about a more obscure song on the album. The song ‘Mannequin’ reminds me of that horribly awesome Andrew McCarthy/Kim Cattrall movie from the 1980s, except the genders are switched in the song, and the movie was executed slightly better.

The sad matter of the fact is, her waste of airtime is preventing more talented artists to make their big break and bask in their moment of musical glory. The amount of unknown female gems in the music business is vast, and it is a shame that more people do not give them the recognition that they deserve. While America may be so used to popular culture that they tend to overlook unique new sounds, the best musical discoveries are found outside crunk rap and badly addicting pop. Often times, they tend to last a lot longer than what appears on the charts. A majority of chart-toppers are forgotten about after their breakthrough single. In short, Katy Perry should not be considered the voice of any kind of group. She does not make herself look good by bitterly singing her angry diary, but she is earning her paychecks with her vengeful songs and cute little dresses and high heels.

So, enjoy the undeserved Number One slot on Billboard, Katy. She will probably be kicked off by one of the other voices of our time, Lil’ Wayne or the Pussycat Dolls, and will eventually disappear within Warped Tour oblivion and pop obscurity.